We're now so perfectly in sync we're wearing each others underwear!
-- House M.D.
You gave me the key to your heart, my love;
Then why do you make me knock?
"Oh, that was yesterday, saints above;
Last night I changed the lock!"
-- John Boyle O'Reilly (1844-1890
Brush up your Shakespeare,
Start quoting him now,
Brush up your Shakespeare
And the women you will wow.
-- Cole Porter
Woman wants monogamy;
Man delights in novelty.
Love is woman's moon and sun;
Man has other forms of fun.
Woman lives but in her lord;
Count to ten and man is bored.
-- Dorothy Parker (1893-1967)
A bather whose clothing was strewed
By breezes that left her quite nude,
Saw a man come along
And, unless I'm quite wrong,
You expected this line to be lewd.
A mathematician named Hall
Has a hexahedronical ball,
And the cube of its weight
Times his pecker's, plus eight
Is his phone number -- give him a call..
A pretty young maiden from France
Decided she'd "just take a chance."
She let herself go
For an hour or so
And now all her sisters are aunts.
A worried young man from Stamboul
Founds lots of red spots on his tool.